


What We Could Make of This

by Guppsie



Category: Original Work
Genre: BoyxBoy, Depression, Isaiah is only seventeen but that’s legal in America, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Suicide, This is my first original story so bare with me, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-10-24 13:13:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17704916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guppsie/pseuds/Guppsie
Summary: Isaiah Walkman is your everyday seventeen year old. He’s a little edgy, loathes his little sister, despises his parents, is a loner, etc. So one day he decides the world would ‘literally’ be a better place without him and ends it all. Or so he thinks? When he wakes up the next day to find the pills he used completely full, he’s in for a surprise that includes new friends, romance, and a whole lot of laughing.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This story contains topics such as; suicide, suicide by pills, depression, sexual relations between two males, mentions of bullying/abuse. If you have a problem with any of these things, please click off and do not read this story. Thank you.
> 
> -Guppsie xoxo

Hey there, this is probably the first, and last, time that you’re gonna hear from me. Confusing huh? Well, let me explain. My name is Isaiah and I’m about to be eighteen years old, and I’m going to kill myself. Yep, you read that right. There was no typo, no spelling mistakes, no “haha just kidding” after it. I’m going to kill myself. And I’m going to do it today.  


You’re probably thinking to yourself; OH MY GOD,NO! WHY?? YOU’RE SO YOUNG!!! And you’re right, I am so young, and that’s what is awful about this. Here I am, not even an adult yet, and I am already having these feelings. Hell, I’m not the first teenager to feel this way, and I definitely won’t be the last teenager to feel this way. I know, I know.  


You’re probably screaming; IT GETS BETTER. YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR. WHAT ABOUT YOUR PARENTS?!?!?! And once again, you’re right. I do have so much to live for. But am I really living if I’m not living for myself?  


Maybe I should give you guys some reasoning as to why I’m going to do what I’m going to do. Let me start off by saying I’m not miserable like every other teenager. I’m decent. I’m not ugly, or at least I don’t think I am. Though, some of my classmates do. Some of them also like to call me a ‘faggot’ and throw rocks at me. Yes, rocks. Actual. Rocks. Some of my so called classmates also like to beat the pulp out of me for looking at them wrong. Suffice to say; I don’t have many friends. Actually, saying I don’t have ‘many’ friends implies that I have friends. Let me rephrase that. I don’t have any friends.  


I have people who tolerate me, people who talk to me, but no one who ever makes sure that I am okay, no one that cares enough about my well being to shoot me a text every here and again. Now, me not having friends isn’t the only reason I want to off myself. My parents hate me, they only care about my little sister, Orphelia. I love my sister, but as my parents love for her grows, my hate for her continues to grow. I am slowly starting to loathe her, and that isn’t what I want for myself or for my sister.  


Basically, I’m doing this to better the world. I wholeheartedly feel like the world would be a much better place without me. I really do, it’s not just some bullshit that I’m spitting out to try and make myself seem like a better person. Just call me Heather Chandler because I am starting to see “The Me Inside Of Me”. Get it? No-- Okay, whatever. Anyways. I wanted to jot this down while I still could because now the pills are kicking in, and things are starting to feel really dizzy. So Phelia, I love you, you are the best thing that came into my parents sad life, and I wish you had a brother who wasn’t slowly starting to hate you. And Austen (My crush since.. Forever.), I’m sorry I’ll never get to feel your lips against mine.  


Goodbye.

“Isaiah, wake up! It’s time for school!” A familiar voice called out, causing me to jolt up out of my nice, deep sleep. Wait… What? Jolt out of my--  
My pale hands ran over my cotton t-shirt, gripping onto it as if trying to make sure that it was a real article of clothing and that I wasn’t imagining this. Suddenly, my door swung open, my bright eyed little sister standing in the doorway.  


“Hey, bubba, mommy said that you need to get dressed, or else you’re gonna be late for school.” She said, her soft, innocent voice filling my ears.  


I stared at her for a moment, my dark green eyes meeting her bright blue ones. “I- I’m gonna… Uh, yeah, okay… Tell her I’ll be down.” I said before slipping out of bed and ushering her out of my room. I almost threw up as I stood, blood rushing to my head as I stared at my reflection in my mirror. I… I didn’t die? I’m alive… I’m alive??  


I shook my head some to get out of my thoughts as I quickly stripped out of my pajamas and ran into the bathroom that was connected to my bedroom. I showered as fast as humanly possible, hopping out and looking over myself in the mirror. Wet strands of dark blue hair fell over my facial features, and I realized I was staring at myself as if I didn’t exist… Which I shouldn’t. I took a whole bottle of sleeping pills… I shouldn’t be here.  


I dried off my hair and body, quickly putting on a pair of black ripped jeans, a white t-shirt and a dark blue cardigan over it. I slipped on a pair of black vans and grabbed my school bag before dragging myself downstairs. I didn’t understand what I did wrong, that was until I saw the same bottle of pills that I had downed sitting on the counter.  


With wide eyes, I snatched the bottle, shaking it in my hand. It was… Full?! How was that possible, I know for a fact I downed the bottle… I continued to shake it vigorously until I realized my family members were staring me down. I turned my head with a small smile, setting the bottle down gently.  


“I uh… I’ve been having problems sleeping… I was just making sure we had some pills…” I said with a small smile as I grabbed the bagel my mother had prepared for me before slipping out of the door to walk to my high school.  


Did I imagine the whole thing? No, I remember very clearly last night I wrote in my journal before everything went black and I remember the pain of hitting my head on… Something. This had to be some kind of dream, or maybe I was in hell. Who knows.  


Once I got to school, I was greeted by a girl with pink hair, a smile on her lips as she came up to me.  


“Hey, uh… I saw your hair from a mile away, and it seemed pretty rad. I just transferred here, and I don’t know anyone, and I know it’s pretty bold to assume the only other student with colorful hair would want to be my friend… But my name is Sophie.” She said, extending her small hand to me.  
I stared the girl down, my eyebrow raising up as I nodded. “Alright, Sophie. My name is Isaiah, nice to meet you.” I grinned, shaking her hand. If I was going to live through whatever this was, I might as well try and make a friend, right?  


“What is your first period?” I asked the brightly colored girl as we walked through the hallways, and for the first time in a while, I felt as if the universe was working in my favor.

  


**This is chapter 1! Chapters 2-5 will be up quickly because I already have those published on my Deviant Art. Please bare with me as I am new to AO3 and don't know the formatting too well xD Love you guys!**   



	2. Chapter 2

It had been a week since I died, but didn’t really die…? And I still didn’t quite understand why I was still living in whatever this was, but there had to be a reason, so why should I try and argue it? Plus, Soph was pretty cool, and the world actually wasn’t a shit show? Maybe I jumped to drastic measures too quickly…  


“Whatcha thinkin bout’, gorgeous?” A familiar voice asked in my ear, causing me to jump up slightly, my head whipping around to see my new pink haired friend standing there. I let out a laugh of relief as I shrugged my shoulders up.  


“Austen Miller.” I lied… Well, half lied. I was always thinking about him. He was one of the openly LGBTQ+ kids in this school, myself being one of the others. He’s bisexual, which I guess is better than being homosexual? I don’t know. All I know is that he doesn’t get his face beat in by the football players.  


“Austen Miller?” Sophie asked, her head tilting to the side as she slid into the chair next to me. I reached a hand out and pointed to a boy with blonde, short hair. He had bright hazel eyes and a perfect smile, and currently he was laughing with a few of his friends.  


“He doesn’t even know I exist.” I laughed, resting my head on my hand as I continued to stare at him. Sophie made a noise of disapproval, her head resting on my shoulder.  


“Well, he’s stupid. You’re beautiful. I mean, the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen.” She said, scrunching her nose up as she turned to look at me. “You’ve got pretty hair, and pretty eyes, a nice jawline that could cut diamonds. You’ve got a nice little body on you. I can just tell that you’ve got a toned stomach.” She smirked, reaching out to poke at my stomach as she said that, causing me to giggle and slap at her hands. “You’re hot. If you were straight, I’d be all over that.” She said, flipping pink hair over her shoulder.  


To be honest, Sophie was gorgeous, too. She had mid back length bright pink hair that waved, and big brown eyes to match it. Her skin was olive colored, and she was pretty curvy. She was adorable, and could most likely get anyone she wanted in this school, yet she made the mistake of choosing me as a friend.  


“Have you ever even spoke to him?” Her voice broke me from my thoughts, my teeth taking my bottom lip between them as I shook my head a little. “Well, if you ever want him to notice you, that’s gonna have to change.” She said, grabbing my hand and dragging me from my seat.  


“W-Wait! Soph!” I protested, trying to pull away from her, but she was stronger than she looked. She dragged me right up to Austen and his football player friends, the men stopping in their tracks to look at her. I didn’t blame them, like I said, she’s cute.  


“Hello there, Austen is it? My name is Sophie. I’m new here, and this is my friend Isaiah, he isn’t new here. I’m sure you know that since your friends have made it their personal job to beat that beautiful face of his, and he is beautiful, right?” She asked, her tone making Austen laugh a little.  


“Uh, hi, Sophie, welcome to Westbrooke. Also, yeah, I know Isaiah, I’ve seen him around. If I knew that these guys were picking on him, I’d change it. They won’t be bugging him anymore, right fellas?” Austen’s deep, chocolate like voice spoke, his head turning to look at the guys behind him who were almost bright red by now. They nodded in unison, and Sophie shot me an evil smirk.  


By now, I must have been drooling on myself as I stood there awkwardly, standing as if I was the smallest person in the world, even though I stood nearly 7 inches taller than Sophie, who was barely reaching 5 foot. “Glad we fixed that. Anyways. You and Issy should be partners for this project. I’d be more than glad to hand him over and take…” She trailed off as she looked over the boys, pursing her lips as she reached to grab the hand of one dark haired football player. “This guy.” She smiled, looking back and forth between me and Austen.  


Austen, clearly impressed by this whole scenario, simply laughed and nodded. “Alright. You’re interesting, Sophie, has anyone told you that?” To which Sophie simply nodded and winked, skipping off with the dumbfounded football player who I later found out is named Oliver.  


“I am so sorry for her.” I said meekly, sitting down at the table as the other two football players went to a separate table. My hands had started to grow clammy, and I wiped them on my dark jeans, not looking up to meet Austen’s eyes as I tried to remember what this stupid fucking project was anyways.  


“Don’t worry about it. Your name was Isaiah, right? Are you okay, bud?” His deep voice asked, the sound sending chills up and down my spine, my head nodding on it’s own. Austen laughed, the sound making my chest tight as I thought about how much I really crushed on him. “Let’s get started then, huh? You should come to my place after school, maybe sleep over so we can catch up on what we’ve missed for this project? It’s pretty simple, we just have to build a working volcano, but we have to write a bunch of shit.” He sighed.  


I nearly came in my pants. Austen Miller had just asked me to sleep over at his house. I’ll be in his bed. In his room, where he’s probably jacked o-- “Yeah, that sounds good to me.” I cut off my own thoughts before something popped up that I really didn’t want to deal with, and spent the rest of the class period trying to focus on anything but the smell of Austen’s cologne next to me.  


When I got home that day, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much things have changed. I wasn’t getting beat up anymore, my phone was filled with texts from Sophie, and Austen fucking Miller wanted me to come to his house later today. I almost screamed from pure excitement. Not to mention, my mood change must’ve been affecting everyone, because even my parents were being nice to me? Whatever kind of weird ass fake universe I was living in was really treating me nicely. If this is the afterlife, I sure as hell don’t miss being alive.  


Around 5pm, Austen texted me saying I was good to come over, and I felt my heart stop in my chest. “Mom?” I called out down the stairs. “Can you give me a ride to my friends house?” I called again, and I swear I heard my mom squeak in happiness.


	3. Chapter 3

When I got to Austen’s house, I didn’t see any cars there, but I simply told my mom that his parents probably ran to the store, and then she did something she hadn’t done in ages. She hugged me, and kissed my cheek.  


“I love you, Isaiah. Have a fun time, and remember, if you need anything, just text or call me.” She said softly, her hand resting on my cheek as she smiled at me. And for the first time in a while, I hugged her back.  


I hopped out of the car and waved to my mom before knocking on Austen’s door. He answered almost immediately, his blonde hair slightly messed up on the top of his head as he greeted me with a bright smile.  


“Issy!” He beamed, opening the door to let me inside. I hid my blush as I walked into his large house, slipping my shoes off at the door.  


“Your house is huge.” I mused, looking around. “Where are your parents?” I asked softly, turning to look at him as I brushed blue bangs out of my face. Austen laughed a little, rubbing at the back of his neck slightly.  


“Uh… It’s just you and I this weekend, if that’s okay with you… My parents often leave every weekend for work, and I kind of hate being alone? So I usually try to have people over if I can. Usually my buddies that used to be pretty mean to you, and I’m really sorry about that.” He groaned. I shook my head to let him know it was okay, but before I could say anything, he was speaking again.  


“They can be real assholes. I know. I talked to them about it, and they didn’t even have a good reason to be beating you up! They tried to say it’s cause you’re gay, but I reminded them that I’m bisexual and I’ve been with a few guys in my life.” He shook his head. “They’re probably jealous cause more girls find you attractive than them.”  


His words made me go bright read in the face, and before I could reply, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and a text from Sophie ran across my screen: _Hey Romeo, don’t forget about me while you and lover boy are deflowering you! I set this up. You owe me! :p_  


I nearly laughed out loud at the text, shooting back a quick reply of: _You are my savior, I love you. <3._ Before slipping my phone back into my pocket.  


“Don’t worry about it. The beatings really sharpened up my jawline.” I laughed, unpacking a few things for the volcano from my bag, my head turning to look at Austen, who was staring at me. “Uh-- Austen?” I asked.  


“Huh? Oh! I-- Uh, sorry, I must’ve blanked.” He smiled, sitting next to me at the table as we started to work on the project. We sat in silence for a moment before he cleared his throat. “How did you know you were gay?” He asked, not moving his eyes away from the clay. “I mean, sorry if that’s weird. I knew I liked boys back in 9th grade when Torrence Mann shoved me and I got a boner from it.” He laughed, biting at his inner cheek in a way that made me melt.  


Of course I couldn’t tell him that he was my gay awakening since middle school. That would be far too awkward to explain, and this new life was going so well for me, I didn't want to ruin it. So I went with something a bit more subtle.  


“I popped a boner during the sex scene in this one movie I was watching, and when I realized I was hard for Ewan McGregor*, and not his female co-star, I figured I was pretty queer.” I grinned, shrugging my shoulders up. “I tried to see if I was bisexual, but I was never able to get it up to women, and Sophie is pretty cute, if I wanted her, I would take her.”  


This caused Austin to laugh, the sound filling the room. “She is cute. And she’s bold, I love that. She really cares about you.” He turned to smile at me, and before I realized it, our hands had slid together, the water made them easily slip past one another as we continued to mold the clay into a volcano shape, but the quick action had caused us both to jump. “Oh-- Sorry, I didn’t-- Uh… Sorry.” He said quickly, slipping his hands back to his respective side.  


The boldness in me wanted to grab his hands and kiss him so hard it hurt, but the shy kid in me didn’t. And instead I simply smiled and shook my head. “No worries. If you wanna hold my hand, just say so.” My tone was teasing, as if I wasn’t telling the truth, even though I was.  


“Hey, wanna watch a movie while this thing dries? We can’t really fuck with it while it’s wet, and we have all weekend to work on it.” Austen offered, standing up to wash his hands, causing me to follow suit.  


“Yeah, sure. A movie sounds nice.” I nodded. A movie! A movie was easy, I didn’t have to talk to him, and therefore I couldn’t say anything embarrassing. What was the worst that could happen?  



	4. Chapter 4

Oh boy, was I wrong. What was the worst that could happen? Yeah, I’ve figured it out. The worst that could happen was Austen FUCKING Miller sitting so close to me that I could feel his breath on my skin.  


His body heat up against mine as we stared at his large television screen. Austen looked pretty into the movie itself, and I was staring mindlessly at the screen so that I didn’t stare mindlessly at Austen. Which was fucking hard. He had changed into a pair of gray sweatpants and a black v-neck shirt that hugged his body a little too nicely.  


Not that I was complaining… My teenage hormones were just going absolutely insane. To be fair, I was almost eighteen, and I was a virgin. Which sounds absolutely devastating, I was gonna die as a virgin, I know. But there’s no men that want to sleep with me that are my age, and I don’t feel like getting rammed by a forty year old for my first time.  


That being said, I think I was drooling by this point. So I very politely excused myself to the restroom. I stared at myself in the mirror for a moment before splashing my face with cold water and dried off with the small hand towel.  


“Get it together, Isaiah.” I groaned to myself as I slipped back into the living room, sitting down next to Austen again. I didn’t even know what movie we were watching, I couldn’t really focus on anything other than the fact that Austen was so close to me I could feel the heat radiating off of him.  


“Do you like it so far?” I heard his deep voice ask me, the sound causing me to turn to look at him and give the best fake nod that I could, even though I had no clue what the damn movie was about. “I really like this scene.” He said again.  


I turned my attention back to the screen, watching the scene unfold. What was the movie we were watching again? Oh-- Right. The Perks of Being A Wallflower. The girl was standing outside of the vehicle as they drove through a tunnel, and screaming for the gay guy to turn it up. I watched Austen’s face as he watched the scene, a smile pulling on my lips at how engrossed he was in it.  


“I feel infinite.” Austen said at the same time the main character said it, and in that moment, so did I. I moved closer to Austen without even realizing it, and I felt his hand brush against mine. Our glances met, and my heart rate picked up. We locked eyes for a moment, and I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could speak, Austen was pulling away and getting up.  


“Do you want some more popcorn?” He asked. I simply muttered a small ‘sure’, feeling absolutely idiotic for not kissing him, but how could I? That would’ve been my first real kiss, and I don’t even know what I’m doing. Would it come to me naturally? I have no idea.  


“Hey, do you want to take shots? My parents left a bottle of Crown Royale here, and I doubt they would miss it if it was gone.” Austen chirped, and I could hear the smirk in his voice. Who was I to turn down getting drunk? I mean, I’m a teenager.  


“Hell yeah.” I said simply, grinning from ear to ear as I paused the movie and got up to run into the kitchen where Austen was waiting with two shot glasses full of the brown liquid. I picked up my own, we clinked the cups, and I threw back the smooth substance. And thus it begun.  


  


**Can you see where things are slowly going to get saucy? xD Two teenage boys getting drunk? Oof. Wish our little Isaiah luck! I do not own "The Perks of Being A Wallflower" nor any of the quotes from the movie. Those are belong to Stephen Chbosky~**  



	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains sexual acts between two boys. Read if you dare :D

Not even an hour had passed, and we were almost halfway through the bottle. I could feel the effects of the alcohol, and I was wondering if Austen could, too, or if I was just a lightweight.  


“Are you drunk?” He asked, his words slightly slurred. The look on his face made me giggle, and I nodded my head a little. I was sure I was drunk by now. But I honestly didn’t know. I felt drunk, at least, I thought I did. I felt good, that was for sure. I felt damn good. At this moment, Austen grabbed me by the hand and dragged me upstairs. I felt a tinge of excitement run through my body as he pulled me into his room, though I didn't want to get too excited, since I wasn't too sure what we were going to be doing.  


"Do you smoke?" He asked me, the question causing my eyebrows to knit together. "Yeah, I smoke." I replied, though it was a bit of a lie. I was assuming he was talking about weed, which I had only smoked once with a friend, who no longer is here. Either way, I wasn't gonna turn it down. Austen smirked at me as he dug around in a drawer for a moment before pulling out a little altoids container. When he opened the container, there were three joints rolled up inside of it. "We can share them, sound good?" He asked, and I nodded my head quickly.  


He pulled out a lighter and put the joint to his lips, and in that moment I had never wanted to be a joint so badly. He lit it and inhaled as he did so, the end of the joint catching fire. He quickly took it away from his lips and blew out the fire before taking another hit from it, inhaling the smoke before exhaling it through his nose. And holy shit did he look hot. He passed it to me, and I took it from him carefully, being sure not to touch his hand with my own, out of pure fear that he'd freak out or something. I did the same he did, inhaled deeply, and blew it out through my nose, only I ended up coughing so hard, I was certain I was going to die.  


Austen simply laughed and scooted closer so that he could rub my back. He offered me a bottle of water, which I took happily before he muttered. "You're not a smoker, huh?" I felt my face go red as I shook my head a little. "Not really... I smoked once with an old friend, and I didn't mind it. I just kind of forgot how intense it is." I scrunched my nose up, looking at the joint before taking another hit, letting the smoke flow into my nostrils from my mouth before I blew it out.  


"Woah, you just french inhaled. So easily." Austen mused, staring at me for a moment. I could tell he was drunk now, just like I could tell he was high. He looked really hot... Like really hot. "It took me forever to learn how to do that, and you did it so easily, you bastard." He laughed, resting his head on my shoulder as he got out a small laughing fit. I eventually started to laugh with him, and I was certain we'd never stop. And then, without thinking, I word vomited.  


"I've been dreaming of being in your bedroom since like, middle school." I said, and almost immediately regretted it. Austen lifted his head up to look at me, his features plastered with confusion.  


"What?" He asked, causing me to almost actually throw up. "I uh... Um..." I looked down at my lap. There was no going back now. "I've liked you... Since forever. You were the reason I found out I was gay." I mumbled, half ready for him to kick me out of his house and never speak to me again. What I wasn't expecting was for him to take the joint from me, put it out and slip it back into the container, and then grab my face with both hands and kiss me.  


Austen **FUCKING** Miller was kissing me. ME. A little queer who he had never even spoken to until earlier that day. I felt his hand slip from my face to my lower back, pulling me closer to him, and then I was kissing back. I had no real idea what I was doing, so I just mimicked his movements. His tongue ran across my lower lip, and a shiver ran through my body as I parted my lips. He moaned against my mouth, and the sound made my head spin. Suddenly, his tongue was dancing across mine, and all I could do was try and do the same thing he was doing. My hands fisted into his hair, and the kiss started to heat up a bit more. Austen leaned back against his headboard and pulled me into his lap, his cold hands snaking up my shirt and his thumbs brushing across my nipples. I wasn't expecting it to feel good, but the moan that came out of my mouth was almost sinful. Austen laughed against my lips, pulling back to look over my face for a moment before he started to kiss across my jaw and down my neck.  


Everything was blurry, and all I could focus on was the feeling of his warm lips against my skin, and his index finger and thumb pinching at one of my nipples. Without my mouth being occupied with his own, the sounds I made were a bit louder, and I felt embarrassed by them. He pulled back for a moment to tug my shirt off before pushing me so that I was on my back on his large bed. I stared at him in confusion, and he shot me a colgate smile before leaning down and attaching his mouth to one of my nipples, the other still being worked on with by his hand. "Ah! A-Austen--" I gasped into the empty room, almost not recognizing my own voice as my fingers slipped into his blonde hair. His free hand slid down my body to my crotch, and I felt a wave of nerves rush over me. "Wait--" I choked out, causing him to lift his head up.  


"I-I uh.. I've never-- Uh..." I stuttered, turning my head to the side some to avoid eye contact with those gorgeous fucking hazel eyes. "You're a virgin?" He asked, his voice just as slurred as my own. "Yeah..." I whispered, swallowing deeply as I kept my head turned away. "It's okay, we won't go all the way. But I want to make you feel good, Isaiah." He whispered back, the words sending sparks straight to my crotch, and I felt my dick jump slightly, and I'm assuming he did, too, cause he laughed a little. "I'll make it good for you." He purred before moving down my body. I almost didn't want to look, but I did anyways. His tanned hands undid the buttons on my jeans, slipping them down my body so that I could kick them off, leaving me just in my boxers with a semi-hard on.  


“Yours is big.” He hummed in appreciation, the sound making me groan slightly and push my hips up without even meaning to. “Uh-- Thanks?” I muttered, biting at my lower lip as he slid down my boxers as well. Every bit of nerves I had went away when Austen ran his tongue over his lips as if he was going to devour me. “Auste- Oh fuck!” I nearly screamed out into the room as his hand wrapped around my dick, moving up and down at a painfully slow pace.  


“Hm?” He chirped, leaning down to slip his tongue over the tip of my shaft, the feeling causing me to curse out again. “You’re really sensitive. Virgins are always so fun, it’s thrilling knowing I’m the first to see you like this.” His voice was huskier now, and it almost sounded possessive, but that could be the illegal substances talking. Suddenly, his whole mouth wrapped around my tip, and I nearly thrusted up. “Ha! F-Fuck!” I cried out into the empty room, my head tossing back against the sheets. He took my whole length into his mouth, which I found impressive, before he started to bob his head up and down, his tongue paying special attention to the vein that ran along the shaft of my dick.  


I could barely keep my head up to look at him, so I just let it fall back against the bed, my hands moving to grip at his locks as I guided his head up and down, a curse of moans and gasps slipping out from my mouth. I sounded so feminine, and weak, but I didn’t even care. The amount of pleasure coursing through my body should’ve been illegal. All too quickly, there was a pressure building up in my stomach, and I tugged Austen’s head up. He stilled his movements, his mouth coming off my length with an audible ‘pop’ as he stared at me.  


“Are you okay?” He asked. “Fuck-- Yeah, I’m okay. I’m more than okay I just… I wanted to do something for you, too…” I lied, deciding not to tell him that I almost prematurely came in his mouth. Austen smirked a little as he slipped off the bed and stripped completely, my eyes roaming over his toned abs and the v-line that lead right to his fully erect cock. “Holy shit.” I gasped. His was… Huge, compared to mine. I made him hard like this? There was no way. He sat down in front of me, pulling me onto his lap once more before he wrapped his hand around my dick as well as his own.  


“I’d really love to fuck you, but I don’t want to do that while we’re both high. So this will have to do.” He whispered against my neck as he started to move his hand up and down our lengths. Even if it was just a hand job, it felt amazing. “Shit-” He groaned out, gripping the back of my head to pull me into a kiss, which I happily returned.  


He swallowed every gasp, moan, and cry that I let out, his hand moving from my head to my nipples once more, deciding that he liked to toy with my sensitive chest. He tweaked one of my nipples rather roughly, and the feeling caused me to arch my back and thrust into his hand. “You’re so responsive, it’s fucking hot.” He growled, his head dipping against my neck to bite and suck at the skin there, his hand on our dicks never slowing down.  


It was all happening so quickly, and all I could do was grip at his shoulders and moan out like the bitch I was. “A-Ah! Austen! I-I’m gonna… If y-you don’t slow d-down!” I cried out, trying to warn him that my end was nearing too quickly, trying to get him to slow his hand movements some, but it was like my cries of pleasure flipped a sadistic switch in his brain, cause his hand only moved quicker. I barely noticed him slipping his fingers into my mouth until the same slick fingers were circling my asshole. Wait--  


“Ah! Austen!” I nearly screamed out as one single finger thrusted into me knuckle deep. White spots danced across my vision as the tightening feeling in my stomach snapped and I came across his hand. I heard Austen moan in the back of my mind, and felt his hot seed shoot onto my chest, his head falling against my shoulder. We sat there for a moment, tangled up in each other's arms before he slid me onto my back. He got up quickly and returned with a wet cloth. I barely registered him cleaning off my chest and pelvic area cause I was far too gone. I felt the bed shift as he lied down next to me and muttered a sleepy “Good night, Issy.” Before we both drifted off to sleep.

**This is the last chapter that I had pre written so I'm not sure when the next chapters will be out, but I can ensure you it's gonna be soon! This story might end up being a bit longer than I imagined but we'll see what happens when we get there!**   



	6. Chapter 6

When I woke up, I rolled over and expected to find Austen next to me, however, he wasn't there. I sat up slowly, rubbing away the sleep from my eyes as I scanned the room. Vague memories of the night before flooded my mind, and I immediately felt my face grow hot. Austen Miller and I basically jerked each other off until we came-- For lack of better explanation at least. And now he wasn't in the room? I mean, it's not like he's gonna leave his own house and just keep me stranded here, so it's no worry... Right?.  


I slipped out of bed and grabbed my pajamas from my bag, my poor, unslept in pajamas. I quickly got dressed before running down the stairs to the kitchen, sighing almost in relief as I saw Austen in there, seeming to be cooking. I felt a smile pull at my lips as I watched him cook. He hummed while he did so, and kind of danced a little, it was like he was in his own world. I watched him for a minute before I started to feel like a creeper, and quickly walked down the stairs all the way.  


"Hey." I said softly, rubbing at my arm awkwardly. I wasn't sure if we were just going to ignore what had happened last night, but I didn't want to. I wanted the whole world to know that I was Austen's and that he was mine. I wanted to kiss him whenever I felt like it, I wanted to hold his hand in the hallways. I never wanted to wake up from this weird dream-state I was in. "Oh, hey, Isaiah." He chirped back, not even turning to look at me. "Do you like chocolate chip pancakes?" He said, pouring some batter into the skillet and resting his hand on his hip while he waited for it to cook. He looked so queer.  


"Yeah, I love them." I mumbled as I slipped into one of the chairs at the bar table. So we were ignoring it? Or maybe he just didn't want to bring it up first? Should I bring it up?  


I watched him cook in silence until everything was ready and he set a plate of pancakes and bacon in front of me, also setting down a can of whipped cream, some syrup, and a small plate with butter on it.  


"Thanks. It looks delicious." I complimented as I grabbed a knife and started to put a little bit of butter onto my pancake before adding some syrup and whipped cream. "Yeah, no problem." He said back, the atmosphere almost... Awkward? I ate my food slowly, almost like I didn't want to finish because I knew once I finished, there wouldn't be a reason to just sit and talk. "About last night," He began, the words making my stomach flutter. Was he going to ask me out? Say that he wanted to do it again? I felt my palms grow sweaty in anticipation. "We probably.. Shouldn't have done that." He said softly, the simple words making my heart drop. "O-Oh?" I stuttered out, mentally slapping myself for it.  


"Yeah, I just... I have so much to focus on, and, uh I just... Don't think it's a good idea to get involved with someone right now." Austen mumbled, my eyes watching his gorgeous lips as they moved. It felt like I had been hit by a bus, like my heart was going to fall out of my ass, like I had just had my first sexual experience with a guy, and he told me we couldn't do it again.  


Suffice to say... It sucked.  


"Uh.. Okay, yeah... No, I understand." I nodded, pushing my plate away as I suddenly didn't feel so hungry anymore. "Issy, I'm so--" Austen was speaking, but I couldn't hear it. Is this what a breakdown felt like? Fuck, I feel awful. I felt myself shaking my head as I ran upstairs to grab my stuff before running back down, not even looking at Austen. "We got far on the project last night, we should have no problem finishing it in class. I'll see you then." I choked out as I ran out the door, Austen's voice calling after me as I did so.  


With shaky hands I pulled out my phone and dialed Soph, my heart racing with each ring. "Hello?" Her voice said on the other line, and just hearing her speak made me feel better. "Can we meet up? I need to tell you some things." I said, and I knew by the tone of my voice, she could tell how I was feeling. "Meet at the park?" She said. "Meet at the park." I confirmed.  


"I know he isn't an asshole," Soph began. We were sitting on swings, each of us smoking a cigarette that I'm not sure how she managed to get her hands on. "But I can't explain why he would do that to you. He shouldn't have kissed you if he knew he couldn't be with you." She frowned, her cute features deep in thought as she flicked her cigarette butt to the side. "Was it at least good?" She turned to me. Her hair was blue now, it matched my own. I had given her the name of the dye I used, and she said that we'd be a cute pair of best friends if we had matching hair. I saw a few pink strands in hers, possibly strands that didn't take, or that she missed, but it somehow worked on her. "It was great. I didn't know having something up... There could feel good." I said, feeling my face go red. She laughed, reaching out to take my hand in her own. "The prostate is a magical thing." She mumbled as she rested her head on my shoulder.  


"You'll be okay, Isaiah. You both will. I know it." Soph's voice filled my ears, and all I could do was nod, and invite her over for the night. I didn't want to be alone.  


I fell asleep that night with Sophie's head on my chest, and my arm around her shoulder. I could hear her soft breaths coming from her nose, and it made me smile. I think I love her, not in a romantic, weird way. But in the way that you love something dear to you. We hadn't even known each other but a few months, and I already felt like I would do anything to keep her safe. Sophie was the person I never knew I needed until I had her, and I don't think being alive would be so bad if I had Sophie with me.  



	7. Chapter 7

**WARNING: Light smut, cliche shit. Skip this chapter if you can't handle cheesy cliche's and boys fooling around in public places hehe.**

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The weekend went by too fast, but luckily, Sophie's parents are cool, and they let her sleep over on Sunday, so that we could go to school together on Monday. Classes were the usual, and things with Austen were... Weird. We didn't talk at all, and I felt myself slowly getting more and more heartbroken. The more we didn't speak, the more hurt, and angry I got. And Sophie heard it all. Sophie came to my house on Wednesday to walk to school with me, since we lived closer than we thought we did.  


We walked hand in hand as she rambled on about some singer in a band she liked. I could listen to Sophie talk for hours, and sometimes it felt like she _did_ talk for hours. But I wasn't a very talkative person in general, and she didn't mind that at all. I stopped listening as we got up to the school and I saw Austen sitting outside, his face tinted red from the slight chill of the air, talking to his friends. I didn't even realize that it was starting to get cold outside, but it was. And suddenly I felt like I was freezing.  


"You cold?" Sophie asked, tugging me inside as I nodded. "A little." I replied. She must've felt my shivering, cause there was no way my skin was cold yet. "You need a heavier jacket. It's fall now, it's gonna start getting really cold." She scolded me, causing me to laugh at her. She had a point, fall in New York was pretty cold, and it got cold fast. "Alright, mom." I smirked, nudging her with an arm.  


"Isaiah?" I heard a deeper voice say my name, the sound sending chills up my spine, and causing Sophie to whip her head around, blue locks following behind her. "Get out of here." She growled. I grabbed her arm and shook my head. "It's fine." I mumbled as I took in a deep breath and turned around, Austen standing in front of me. "Hey..." I said softly, rubbing at the back of my arm. It had been four days since he had even looked at me properly, and now he was talking to me? "Can we talk...? Like, somewhere private?" He asked, glancing over at Sophie who narrowed her eyes at him. "Uh yeah. I'll see you at lunch Soph, I'll text you if I need anything." I assured her before heading into the bathroom with Austen. "What is it?" I asked, not meeting his eyes.  


Austen rubbed at his arm awkwardly, looking down at his feet while trying to find his words. I had never seen Austen look so awkward, and I didn't know what to do. "I lied to you." He sighed, the confession causing my stomach to go tight. "I didn't want to continue seeing you because my parents don't- They don't know that I'm bi." He mumbled, looking up at me, his hazel eyes meeting my own. "And I was afraid that even if I tried to hide you, they'd find out somehow, and that they wouldn't accept me. I thought I could be just your friend, since I have been for years... But after kissing you, I can't stop thinking about you." He spoke, not even letting me get a word in. Not that I would say anything, I was completely speechless. Austen has always been so open about being bisexual, it shocked me that his parents didn't know. "I told them yesterday. And my dad punched me in the stomach, called me a fag, and left. My mom won't even look at me..." He said softly, sitting down on the bathroom floor.  


"I didn't know that they didn't know... Are you okay?" I asked softly, sitting down next to him, worried about getting too close, but sitting close anyways. He nodded with a small smile, turning to look at me. "I'm fine. Cause now, I can be with you. I don't care if they don't accept it. They know, and now, I don't have to hide anything. I don't have to hide at all. I can openly have you." He whispered before leaning in some. "I can do this without having to worry if someone sees." He said, his breath hot against my lips before I finally leaned in and closed the gap between us, taking him by surprise. I kissed him so hard I swear our teeth hit together, but I didn't care. Austen wanted me. Me! I slid onto his lap, his back against the wall as I looped my arms around his neck. The kiss was hot and needy, and I could feel myself growing more excited with each touch from him. His hands first rested on my hips, then slid against my thighs, then moved to cup my ass, and that's where they stayed. My hands moved to grip at his shirt before I slipped out of his lap. "Stand up." I said, causing him to look at me curiously, but stand up anyways.  


My hands immediately went for his zipper, pulling it down and undoing the button before shoving his pants down to his knees. "Isaiah!" He gasped, causing me to look up at him with an evil smirk. "We-We're in public." He hissed, but his erection didn't falter. "You don't seem to care that much." I mumbled as I slipped my tongue out to give a small lick to the tip of his cock, thus causing him to groan slightly. I grinned at him before taking his whole length into my mouth, praying that I didn't choke and die on his dick because that would be embarrassing. I was only table to take the majority of it, so what I couldn't fit in my mouth I made sure to stroke with my hand. I let my green eyes lock on his hazel ones as I bobbed my head up and down, loving the noises he made, even if they were quiet. The way his fingers tangled into my hair and pushed my head down let me know that he wanted this. "Fuck, Issy." He gasped in a sharp breath, his hands gripping onto my hair tighter, the feeling causing me to moan out around his length. The vibrations, I'm assuming, felt really nice, and caused him to thrust into my mouth. That hurt.  


I pulled back with a soft cough, my eyes slightly watery. Austen almost started to apologize, but I shook my head and started to jerk him off quickly, his knees buckling slightly as he moaned out into the bathroom. I jerked him off at a steady pace for a while before leaning forward again and taking only his tip into my mouth. I slipped my tongue around the tip and that must've pushed him over the edge, because suddenly he was coming in my mouth with a small shout that he muffled with his hand. I swallowed, the slightly bitter taste causing me to scrunch my nose up. I got back on my feet, stepping forward and kissing him with a sly grin on my lips. He flipped us around so that my back was against the wall and his hand slipped around my throat, the feeling causing me to whine softly. "The things I want to do to you, Isaiah. You're lucky that we're in a bathroom, or else I'd make you scream." He growled against my lips, his hand on my neck tightening some. This was arousing, too arousing. I was already hard, and at this point I didn't know if I'd be able to get it down. "I can't wait to take you and watch your pretty little face contort in pleasure. But I have to go to first period, and so do you. So do something about that." He purred, pressing his hand against my hard-on, causing me to arch into his touch and moan out. "A-Austen.." I whined. I didn't know what came over him, but whatever this was, I liked it. A lot. He kissed me again, this time more gentle as his hand slid from my neck down my arm to my own hand, where he laced our fingers together. "I'll walk you to class. Come home with me after school, though." He said, leading me out of the bathroom.  


I used my sweater to cover my erection as I nodded and followed along with him. Once we got to my homeroom, he kissed me again, this time with people watching. My heart fluttered in my chest. Austen Miller was kissing me. In public. With people staring at us. I quickly returned the kiss, my arms slipping around his neck as I smiled against his lips. "I'll see you in science." I whispered before he pushed me into the classroom. All I could do all day was anxiously wait to go home with him after school. I knew what was going to happen, and I was more than ready for it to happen. I was just also extremely nervous.  



	8. Chapter 8

**Warning: This chapter contains SMUT, full smut. I'm talking D in B. Slightly awkward, some falters, giggling and overall cuteness that's expected during the first time. If you don't like boy x boy smut, I'll add a break before the smut happens and you can skip it. :-)**  


The end of the day came quickly, way too quickly, and I could feel my stomach bubbling up with nerves. My last class was art, and Sophie was in this class with me. She could sense my nerves, it was just something she could do as my best friend.  


"What's wrong, hun?" She questioned, her head of blue hair tilting to the side as she looked over my features. I laughed softly and shook my head. By now, she knew about me and Austen, but she didn't know what our plans for the day were. "Uh... Well, Austen said something in the bathroom... That hinted to wanting to uh..." I swallowed, rubbing at my arm a little, the actions causing her to gasp and blush. "Isaiah!" She squeaked, grabbing my hands. "You're gonna lose your virginity... To Austen... Fucking... Miller!" She squeaked as quietly as she could so that no one heard her, which I was thankful for.  


I laughed, trying not to turn bright red as I squeezed her hands back, smiling brightly at her. "Yeah, I hope so..." I mumbled, looking over to the side as the bell rang, dismissing us all from the hell hole. "Fuck." I choked out, letting out a deep breath. Sophie smiled and stood up, throwing her bag over her shoulder. She wore black shorts with fishnet stockings under them, a baggy crop top that only showed the top of her fishnets when she raised her arms, and an oversized leather jacket. She was such a looker, and she was so cool. I could see why all the straight guys wanted her, especially the 'popular' guys.  


"I'm excited.. But I'm also nervous as hell." I said, standing up as well and stepping out, where Austen greeted me, his strong arms wrapping around my smaller frame. "Hey." He grinned, causing me to smile as well. "Hey..." I beamed, slipping my hand into his own. My hands were cold, and his were warm. Mine soft, his hard. Mine pale, his tanned. We were opposites in so many ways, but we also fit together. It was so easy to talk to him, even if I was nervous. "Can I steal him away, Soph?" Austen asked, shooting his colgate smile at her, which didn't even seem to phase her. "Yeah, I have plans with Owen anyways." She winked at me, turning on her heel and walking off. "Her and Owen? What a strange pairing." I laughed, Austen agreeing and leading me down the hall.  


We drove back to his house in his Jeep, my body bubbling with nerves. Were we going to start as soon as we got inside, were we going to wait, were we going to watch a movie and just see what happened? I had so many questions, but I didn't want to ask. A tanned hand rested on my knee, squeezing it softly. "You still with me?" He asked, causing me to jump out of my thoughts. "Huh? O-Oh, yeah... I'm just thinking." I smiled a little, causing him to raise an eyebrow. "Thinking about what?" He replied, a soft groan leaving my mouth. I really didn't want to tell him, but I also didn't want to lie... "Oh, nothing important." I shrugged, placing my hand over his.  


He dropped it after that, pulling into his driveway and getting out of the car to open the door for me before leading me into his house. My hands started to prick with sweat, my stomach going tight. I read too many fanfictions, because I half expected him to slam me into the wall and take me in his fucking living room. But he didn't. He walked into the kitchen and fixed some greek pasta for us both, setting the table with two cups of water.  


"You're nervous about the sex, huh?" He questioned, causing me to nearly choke on my pasta. Our eyes met as I stopped coughing, a small sigh leaving my lips as I nodded. "Yeah..." I mumbled, biting at my bottom lip. "You know, we don't have to do it... Right?" He reassured me, finishing up his food and taking both of our bowls to the sink. "No, I want to!" I almost immediately replied, standing up as I did so. "I just... I'm nervous cause you're you. And it's my first time, and you're experienced..." I groaned as I rubbed at my eyes. Austen laughed, slipping his arms around my waist and resting his forehead against mine. "Don't worry about it. I like that you're inexperienced. It lets me know I'm the first to get to see you like this, and I hope to be the last." He whispered, his breath warm against my face as I stared at him. I leaned my head up some, pressing our lips together gently, smiling against his mouth.  


***Smut happening here. Skip to the end of the chapter if you wish to not read it.***  


We played video games on his flat screen tv for about an hour before moving upstairs to watch movies on the tv in his room, his arm wrapped around my frame as I curled up against his chest. I'm not sure when it happened, but it did. Before I knew it, I was on my back, and he was on top of me, his hands slipping under my shirt to tease my nipple as he kissed me, his heated kisses moving down my neck to nip at it. "Nn- Austen~" I breathed out, my hands sliding down his back to fist at his shirt, tugging on it some. He sat up some, lifting his shirt off and throwing it to the side, the sight almost making me drool as I did the same, only a little less confidently. "Fuck, you're gorgeous." He groaned as his eyes raked over my body, leaning down to take my nipple between his teeth, the feeling causing me to arch into his touch. "Ah! Careful..." I laughed breathlessly, causing him to go a bit red, lifting his head up to run his thumb soothingly over my nipple. "Sorry." He whispered, dipping his head down to kiss my collarbones, sucking and nibbling at the skin until the top half of my chest was littered in hickies. The whole time my hands moved from his back, to the sheets, to his arms, to the sheets, to his back again. I felt like I didn't know what to do with my hands.  


"Babe, relax." He whispered against my skin, his hands moving to my jeans to snap the button open, unzipping them and pulling the constricting clothing down my legs so that I could kick them off. I was embarrassed about choice of boxers, they were mint green with white stripes on them, but Austen smirked and snapped at the band. "These are cute." He purred as he yanked them off, causing me to gasp, the cold air hitting against my hot skin almost painfully. "Y-You too..." I huffed, feeling completely exposed underneath of him. He laughed, nodding as he slid off the bed to remove the remainder of his clothing, hovering over me once more, completely naked this time. "I want to make you feel good." He smiled, leaning down to kiss me as I leaned up, causing our noses to bump, the sudden pain making me groan and retract. "Ow-" He whined, rubbing at his nose as I fell into a fit of laughter. "Fuck, that was clumsy." I said between giggles, my arms slipping around his neck to pull him down. I tilted his head to the side using my right hand, moving his head to the left as I leaned to the right and kissed him. I felt him moan against my lips, and a rush of triumph ran through my body. We made out for a while, his tongue pushing past my lips and toying with my own, taking dominance of the kiss easily. Which I didn't mind at all. I felt his hand slip down my body, rubbing over my hardening shaft, the sudden pleasure causing me to jolt against him. "Mm!" I gasped into his mouth, causing him to smirk against my lips. He broke the kiss to move down my body, spreading my legs and kissing my inner thigh, right near my balls, the soft touch causing me to tremble slightly. "Austen-" I gasped out.  


I couldn't see him smirk, but I could feel it before his tongue slipped out to run over my entrance teasingly, the feeling making me arch my back. "W-Wait! Ah!" I whimpered, my hands moving to his light colored hair to grip at it tightly. He grinned against my skin, his tongue working my hole as his thumb pressed the spot between my balls and anus, as if it were a magic button. I was putty underneath of him, writhing and tugging on the sheets, loud gasps and cries pulling up my throat. I never thought something as... Crude as this would feel so good, but fuck it did. His tongue dipped into my entrance, pushing in fully and slipping out, repeating the motion over and over, each entrance making me cry out. Finally, I pulled him back up, panting heavily as I stared at him. "Fingers." I said breathlessly before pulling him into a hard kiss. He moaned into the kiss as he reached over to his bedside table, pulling out lube and condoms, the action making me raise an eyebrow. "More than one?" I questioned, causing him to laugh a little. "If you think I'm stopping after one round, you're even cuter than I thought." His tone was deeper than usual, and the words sent a rush straight to my dick. "Ah- Now. Hurry." I whined, grabbing his wrist and moving it down to my ass.  


"Yes, Kitten." He purred as he dipped three fingers into the lube, circling one wet digit around my puckered hole, the sensation making me gasp as I nodded a little. With my go ahead, he slipped the finger in, and it went in without resistance. Austen started to pump the single digit in and out, curling it upwards and rubbing my inner walls to relax me, but I didn't need relaxing at this point. "A-Aus..." I gasped, my hands moving to grip at his forearms as I leaned my head back into the pillows. "Ha~" Each noise that left my mouth, Austen gave a noise of appreciation back, sometimes muttering small "So gorgeous", "All mine", "Beautiful", against my neck. After a moment, he pulled the single finger out, and replaced it with two, causing me to wince at the slight stretch. "Does it hurt?" He asked, causing me to shake my head. "N-No.. Just a little u-uncomfortable." I laughed softly, my fingers moving up to slip into his hair. He nodded a little and started to thrust the two out, this time scissoring his fingers to stretch me out. After a moment, he found that little bundle of nerves, and started to press against it harder. "F-Fuck! Austen!" I cried out into the room, tossing my head back. Austen simply moaned out in response to my cries, his teeth scraping over my neck. I decided to slide my hand down some, wrapping my slender fingers around his length and pumping up and down with his thrusts. I couldn't keep the noises I made down, but when I started to stroke him, he became more vocal, his hips thrusting against my hand. "Oh, fuck... Baby." He moaned deeply against my ear.  


"I'm ready. No more... Just, enter me... Please." I whimpered, pulling his head up with my free hand to look into his hazel eyes. He moaned out as he nodded his head, slipping his fingers out and moving to grab the condom, opening it with his teeth (dangerous, mind you), and slipping the latex onto his erection. "Get on all fours, just for the first bit. Missionary hits deeper, and I don't want you to be in pain." He said, lifting me up some to move me onto my knees. I lifted myself up on my elbows and pressed my face into the pillows, bracing myself for the pain that I was told about. "Alright, babe, you ready?" Austen whispered, making me nod eagerly as I pushed my ass back against his dick. He laughed softly before lining up with my entrance and slowly pushing past the tight ring of muscles. It didn't hurt nearly as bad as I anticipated, but there was a slight stinging feeling. A long, drawn out moan slipped from my lips as he bottomed out. "F-Fu... It's like I-I can feel it... In my s-stomach." I cried softly, my voice coming out slightly higher, which took me by surprise. "Yeah?" He replied, leaning down to press his lips against my ear. "You want me to move, baby?" He asked. I nodded slowly, spreading my legs apart some more. When he started to thrust, I couldn't hold back the scream that left my lips. It was intense, almost too intense. Even in this position, I could feel every inch of him, and it was amazing. "A-Ah! Ahh~" I didn't even recognize my own voice, but the urge to hide it filled my body and I pressed my face further into the pillows.  


"No fucking way, baby boy." Austen hissed, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling my back flush against his chest. His free hand slid up my stomach to my chest, his thumb and forefinger pinching my nipple as he thrusted in and out quickly, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room as well as my loud moans, and his heavy breathing. "A-Austen! I-I... It f-feels..." I gasped out, causing Austen to laugh huskily against my ear. Without pulling out, he moved me onto my back, hooking my legs over his shoulders and looking down at me. "N-No.. Don't... Don't look. That's embarrassing!" I whined, moving my hands up to cover my face. "No." He growled, grabbing my wrists and pinning them above my head with one hand, the other hand wrapping around my throat. The way his fingers tightened around my throat caused me to let out a choked cry, his hips moving quickly. The tip of his dick hit against my prostate, and I arched my back so high, I thought I would've pulled something. "Austen!" I screamed into the room, and my reaction made him thrust against the spot over and over, my eyes watering from the immense pleasure. It was over too soon, and I almost didn't want it to end. But the white hot that flashed across my vision as I came was indescribable. "A-Ah!~" My voice echoed off the walls, Austen following not too much later, letting out his loudest moan of the night as he came into the condom. His thrusts came to a halt before he pulled out, flopping down next to me.  


***Smut over!***  


I was panting so hard that I thought I was going to pass out, but the way that Austen's arms wrapped around me made everything seem okay. "I-" I started, panting softly as I rested my head against his chest. "It was amazing." I said softly, feeling absolutely euphoric. Austen laughed softly, pulling me close to him, kissing my face all over. "I'm glad. Cause we're not done." He smirked, pulling me onto his lap.  


**That's it for chapter 8! Only two more chapters until the end. How are you guys liking it so far? Sorry if the smut was bad or not detailed. Leave me some comments! <3**   



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